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Beginner’s Guide: How To Love Yourself

ByKayley
This post contains affiliate links, meaning I may earn a commission if you make a purchase through my link.

When you think about how to love yourself, it sounds simple, right? But when you have a past that is full of wounds, trauma, or moments that made you believe you weren’t worthy – it makes it difficult. What if self-love feels out of reach because life has taught you otherwise? If this resonates with you, I want you to know—you are not alone. I’ve been there too. Self-love isn’t just about feeling good; it’s about healing. It’s about unlearning those limiting beliefs and knowing your worth.

This guide will help you on your path to stepping into your power by shining your light and learning how to love yourself again. It takes time, patience and compassion, but a slight shift in habits and mindset can lead to massive results. Show the world how wonderful you are, step onto the path for your highest good and be the main character again in your life.

The Lies We’ve Been Told About Self-Love 😔

Before we get into the good stuff, here’s some of the biggest self-love myths:

🚫 Myth #1: Self-love is selfish.

✅ Truth: Nope! Taking care of yourself allows you to show up for others from a place of love, not burnout. You deserve that. 💖

🚫 Myth #2: You have to “earn” your worth.

✅ Truth: Your worth isn’t based on how much you achieve, how you look, or what others think. You are enough, right now.

🚫 Myth #3: Self-care is a luxury.

✅ Truth: Self-care isn’t just bubble baths and spa days (though, yes, those are amazing). It’s setting boundaries, saying no when needed, and putting you first.

How to Love Yourself: 6 Things You Can Try Every Single Day 💡

Self-love is more than just a concept—it’s a practice. And like any practice, it takes time and intention. Here are six simple but powerful ways to start loving yourself today:

1. Watch How You Talk to Yourself 🗣️

You know that voice in your head? Make sure it’s speaking with love instead of criticism. Try replacing negative self-talk with gentle affirmations:

  • “I am doing my best, and that’s enough.”
  • “I deserve kindness from myself.”
  • “I am learning, growing, and evolving.”

You can read my blog post by clicking here, to learn more about how you can reframe your thoughts.

2. Set Boundaries Like a Boss 🚧

Not everyone deserves your time and energy. Protecting this is self-respect in action.

  • Instead of forcing yourself to say yes, try: “Thank you for thinking of me, but I need some time for myself today.”
  • Instead of over-explaining, try: “I can’t do that, but I appreciate you asking.”

3. Treat Yourself Like Someone You Love 💕

Would you let your best friend talk down to themselves? Nope. So why do it to yourself? Start treating yourself with the same patience, kindness, and encouragement you give to others.

4. Stop Searching for External Validation 🚀

Your worth isn’t based on likes, compliments, or approval from others. The only validation that truly matters is the one that comes from within. Ask yourself:

  • Do I like who I am becoming?
  • Am I honouring my values and dreams?
  • What makes me feel whole, regardless of outside opinions?

When you learn how to validate yourself, your life will change. You will start to live your life based on your wants, needs and desires.

5. Ditch Perfectionism 🎭

I am the worst offender of perfectionism and it’s something I am still working on. I now understand that I will never win against it. It’s a constant battle. Here’s how we can shift our mindset…

  • Mistakes? They mean we’re learning and growing.
  • Failures? They mean we’re trying and we won’t live in regret by not giving it a go.
  • Imperfections? They make us human. 💖

6. Find Gratitude in Who You Are Right Now ✨

Instead of constantly trying to “fix” yourself, try appreciating who you are. Each day, write down three things you love about yourself—your kindness, your resilience, and your ability to love. Celebrate YOU. 🎉

Words to Remember: Self-Love Quotes for When You Need a Reminder 📖

Some days are harder than others, and that’s okay. Keep these self-love quotes close for when you need a little boost:

🖤 “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” — Buddha

💖 “Loving yourself isn’t vanity. It’s sanity.” — Katrina Mayer

🌿 “How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.” — Rupi Kaur

Save these. Write them on sticky notes. Repeat them to yourself when doubt creeps in. You are worthy, always. 💫

When Self-Love Feels Hard: Overcoming the Blocks 🛑

Let’s be real—some days, self-love just feels impossible. Try…

  • Calling out negative beliefs. When that thought creeps in and says something like“I’m not good enough”, reframe it and try “I am growing and worthy just as I am”.
  • Surround yourself with positivity. Follow people who motivate you, read books that inspire you to heal, and set boundaries with those who drain you.
  • Forgive yourself. You are allowed to be imperfect.
  • Do something you love. Whether that’s watching your favourite rom com, or treating yourself to your favourite drink from your local coffee shop.

Journaling Prompts for Deep Self-Love Reflection ✍️

Everyone who knows me, knows I am a big fan of journalling – it changed my life. So, grab your favourite journal (an ordinary notepad will do or even the notes app on your phone) and explore these prompts:

  • What are three things I truly love about myself?
  • How can I show myself more compassion when I make mistakes?
  • What’s one small way I can prioritise myself this week?

If you would like to go deeper, you can try shadow work. Read my blog by clicking here, to learn how to get started.

Final thoughts

Self-love isn’t a destination—it’s an ongoing journey. The more you practise it, the stronger it grows. It will change your life.

Be brave and start your self-love journey today, what do you have to lose? Drop a comment and let me know what you’re going to try below.

💖 Reminder: YOU ARE ENOUGH. ALWAYS. 💖

Further reading on self-love (affiliate links)

Here are some of my self-love book recommendations, why not give them a try?

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