Understanding shadow work: What it is and how to get started

ByKayley
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I came across shadow work when I wanted to understand my behaviour and reactions to situations. I knew I had some things to figure out to live a healthier and happier life.

Before going deep into your shadow, it’s important you have support available and that you feel ready. This work isn’t easy, but when you’re fully invested and you fully integrate your shadow into everyday life, you will show up true to yourself and understand the way you act the way you do.

What is shadow work?

The idea of shadow comes from psychiatrist Carl Jung, who describes it as repressed, rejected or hidden parts of ourselves. This includes things like emotions, trauma, fears, desires, or traits that are opposite to how you show up in the world to your family, friends, colleagues or online community.

Shadow work is getting to know and understand the less desirable parts of ourselves by working with our unconscious minds. It is recognising what they are, learning more about them and becoming aware so that you can see how your shadow affects your day-to-day life, and how it influences your behaviour and actions.

Understanding our shadow self helps us practise self-acceptance and compassion. We become more aware of all parts of ourselves and this lets us live authentically, embracing both the good and less desirable parts. You can then live your life consciously and intentionally.

It’s important to note that we’re not trying to get rid of your shadow, but integrate it with your everyday lives.

A real-life example of shadow work

Imagine you feel angry, annoyed, or frustrated when people—such as your partner—rely on you. Thoughts like “Why can’t you do it yourself?” or “I do everything on my own; nobody ever helps me” may arise. You might get defensive or snappy, especially when you’re already stressed or overwhelmed.

You recognise that it’s normal for a partner to rely on you sometimes, yet you don’t understand why you react this way. You may even feel ashamed for feeling resentful.

Through shadow work, you question these emotions. You reflect and ask yourself: Where does this come from? Why do I feel this way? You might discover that, as a child, you were highly independent and expected to handle everything alone, without guidance or support. Your current reactions stem from old wounds—perhaps resentment or jealousy toward those who now seek the help you never received.

Now that you’re aware of this, you can accept this part of yourself with compassion. You can acknowledge the struggle of your younger self and‌ consciously adjust your responses, integrating this shadow aspect without shame.

Who can do shadow work?

Anyone can try shadow work, but if you suffer from mental health issues or you have severe trauma, it may be worth looking into therapy or counselling.

How to get started with shadow work?

  1. Practice self-awareness – Observe your habits, triggers, and recurring emotional patterns.
  2. Journal your thoughts – Write down your observations and ask yourself: Where does this stem from? Why do I feel this way? Let your thoughts flow freely in a judgment-free space.
  3. Accept yourself – Now that you’re aware of your shadow, practice self-compassion and acceptance.
  4. Apply what you’ve learned – Use your newfound awareness to make conscious decisions when your shadow surfaces in daily interactions. Over time, you’ll experience less shame and guilt and gain deeper self-understanding.

If you’re unsure where to start, try the below journal prompts.

5 benefits of shadow work

  1. Increased self-awareness: Shadow work encourages you to go within, this will give you a deeper understanding of your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours.
  2. Improved relationships: By acknowledging and integrating your shadow, you can communicate more authentically and empathetically with others, reducing conflicts and enhancing relationships.
  3. Emotional healing: Confronting suppressed emotions and past traumas can lead to significant emotional healing and release.
  4. Personal growth: Shadow work allows you to embrace who you are which can lead to personal growth and transformation.
  5. Enhanced creativity: Integrating your shadow can unlock creative potential and open up new opportunities.

5 prompts to start shadow work journalling

  1. What are your negative personality traits? Why do you believe they are harmful?
  2. What would you consider your toxic behaviour traits to be and why do you believe they are toxic?
  3. What is the most shameful thing you have done and why did you do it?
  4. Describe a time when you felt rejected and how you feel about this. Do you feel like this shapes the way you behave today?
  5. What parts of yourself do you hide from others and why do you do this?

Get your shadow work prompt journal.

You can buy my shadow journal to help you get started on your journey to accepting all parts of yourself and embracing your shadow self.

What’s included:

  • 21 Journal Prompts
  • 4 Bonus Prompts to delve deeper
  • Reflection prompts
  • Thought-provoking quotes
  • Blank section to continue your journaling

Click here to find out more.

Further reading

If you would like to learn more about shadow work, here’s some further reading I would recommend:

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