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Caring for Yourself While Supporting a Loved One Struggling With Mental Health and Suicidal Thoughts

ByKayley

This subject is close to my heart. I’m supporting loved one’s facing mental health challenges and suicidal thoughts, and I know how heavy it can be. The biggest lesson I’ve learned? Caring for myself allows me to show up with a clearer mind and a more open heart — not just for them, but for me too.

When someone we love is struggling, our instinct is to give everything we have. Especially if, like me, you’re the eldest daughter — the fixer, the strong one, the emotional anchor. But here’s the truth, we can’t pour from an empty cup. Supporting someone else starts with looking after your own emotional, mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing.

Below are the practices and reminders that have helped me care for myself while caring for someone I love. I hope they offer you some peace and strength, too.

💭 Give Yourself Space to Feel Your Emotions

It’s easy to bottle everything up — to look strong for others, to keep going, to hold it all together. But the truth is, when you suppress your emotions, they build up like pressure behind a dam. Eventually, something gives.

Give yourself permission to feel. Let it be messy. Let it be honest. You may be experiencing everything from sadness to fear, to anger or guilt. All of it is valid. You are not selfish for feeling what you feel.

🖊️ Journaling to Heal and Release

One of the most powerful tools I’ve found is journaling. When I felt like I needed a way to get it off my chest, my journal became a way to release everything without fear of burdening the people I was supporting.

Try this practice:

  • Write about what’s happening — your experiences, the conversations, the weight you feel.
  • Name the emotions you’re feeling. Don’t hold back. Let it all out.
  • Show yourself the compassion you’d offer a friend. Offer comfort in your own words.
  • End with a prayer, affirmation, or quiet message to the universe, your angels, or whatever you believe in. Ask for strength, love, peace, or guidance.
  • Close with gratitude — for yourself, for your loved one who is opening up, for the support that exists, even if it’s just beginning.

If writing isn’t for you, that’s okay. Talk to a trusted friend, voice note yourself, or pray out loud. The goal is to release, not repress.

🌧️ Let Go of What You Can’t Control

This is one of the hardest truths: you can’t save them. You can hold space. You can love. You can encourage. But the choice to seek help, to heal, to stay — that belongs to them.

Accepting that isn’t giving up — it’s creating healthy emotional boundaries. It’s making room for your peace while still being a source of strength. It’s brave. And it’s necessary.

Say this to yourself when it feels overwhelming:

“I am doing the best I can, with love and care. I cannot carry what isn’t mine to hold.”

🎨 Find an Outlet for Your Energy

When you’re holding a lot emotionally, it helps to have a physical or creative outlet. Something to shift the energy and bring you back to your body and your breath.

Some ideas:

  • Walk in nature and speak your thoughts aloud to the sky.
  • Dance or stretch to music that soothes you or helps raise your vibration.
  • Paint, draw, or create — not for perfection, but to let go.
  • Clean or re-organise a space with the intention of releasing emotional clutter.
  • Cry. Scream into a pillow. Give yourself permission to let go without restraint.
  • Write letters you’ll never send. This is a powerful one. Well, it was for me anyway.

Whatever helps you process your emotions — do that. Let your body and spirit know, you are safe to feel.

💖 Do Something Every Day to Fill Up Your Cup

When you’re caring for someone else, it’s easy to neglect your own needs. But the truth is, self-care isn’t just a luxury — it’s a necessity. Just like you can’t pour from an empty cup, you can’t give your best to others if you’re drained.

Make it a daily practice to do something just for you. It doesn’t have to be big or elaborate — even a few minutes can make a difference. Here are some ideas:

  • Enjoy a cup of tea in peace.
  • Take a few deep breaths in a quiet space.
  • Read a book that brings you joy.
  • Watch a movie that makes you laugh.
  • Practice meditation or prayer.
  • Take a candlelight bath.

The key is consistency. Find something small and nourishing that feels like a reset for your mind and heart, and make it a part of your day. When you regularly fill your cup, you’ll be better equipped to support those you love.

🧘‍♀️ Look After Your Physical Wellbeing

When life feels emotionally heavy, it can be hard to prioritise physical health. But caring for your body is an essential part of emotional and spiritual wellbeing.

Start with small steps:

  • Sleep: Try and get consistent rest. Lack of sleep can heighten stress and emotions.
  • Eat Nourishing Foods: Opt for balanced meals that nourish both body and mind.
  • Exercise: Even light movement, like stretching, yoga, or a walk outside, can help release tension and boost your mood.
  • Look after your physical appearance: Get dressed, do your hair, put on your make-up – when you look good, you tend to feel it too.

The goal isn’t perfection; it’s small decisions in your day that will make you feel better. Give your body the care it deserves, so you’re stronger for yourself and the loved ones you’re supporting.

🌟 It’s Ok to Ask for Medical Help

As much as we may want to be everything to the people we care about, sometimes we need help too. It’s okay — and essential — to ask for professional help when needed.

Whether it’s seeking therapy, seeing a doctor, or reaching out to a support group, asking for help is brave and there is absolutely no shame in that. You don’t have to go through this alone. A mental health professional can offer guidance, tools, and an objective perspective that can support both you and your loved one.

Remember, seeking help doesn’t mean you’re weak; it means you’re strong enough to recognise when more support is needed. And that in itself is the best thing you can do for yourself, an act of self-love right there!

🌿 Closing Thoughts: You Matter Too

Being the support system for someone who’s struggling is one of the hardest and most selfless roles you can take on. But you’re not just a supporter — you’re a human being, with your own needs, limits, and dreams.

Your healing matters too.

So be gentle with yourself. Set boundaries where you need to. Ask for help when you can. And always, always remember that it’s okay to care deeply and care for yourself at the same time.

You’re doing better than you think.

💛 If You or Someone You Know Needs help

Here’s some free resources that available if you or someone you know needs helps:

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