My Top Tip for Fighting Your Negative Thoughts & Inner Critic
I always get asked what my top tip is for dealing with negative thoughts and that relentless inner critic. You know the one—it shows up when you least expect it. For some of us, it’s a constant background noise. For others, it pops up during moments of doubt, fear, or embarrassment.
Mine loves to show up when I’m stepping outside my comfort zone. Just the other day at work, I was getting ready to present to the bosses—something I had created with my team, something I knew inside out. And still… the doubt crept in. That voice questioned my ability to speak confidently about something I literally built.
The truth is, we all have this inner critic. You’re not alone. Honestly, you’d have to be superhuman not to have one.
So, what can we do about it?
Let me share the simple trick that’s saved me more times than I can count.
The Trick That Challenged My Inner Critic
It’s silly. But it’s easy. And it works.
It instantly creates distance between you and your inner critic—like putting up a mental wall that says, “You’re not me.”
So what is it?
Name your inner critic. Yep. That’s it.
Give it a name. Karen’s always a good one—someone who’s overly critical, demanding, and most of the time, hard work. I’ve also recommended Brenda. Or Dave. Choose whatever fits.
It might sound ridiculous, but naming that voice changes everything. It helps you stop taking it seriously. Half the time, I end up laughing—which breaks the negative spiral before it even begins.
What to Say to Your Inner Critic
When those unhelpful thoughts pop up, try saying:
- Not today, Karen.
- Really, Karen? That’s the best you’ve got?
- F** off, Karen.*
Or whatever suits your style. The point is to respond in a way that disrupts the thought and reminds you who’s really in charge.
Why It Works (The Psychology Bit)
If you’re like me, you want to know if there’s any science behind this. Good news—there is.
Psychologists call it cognitive distancing. It’s a technique used in therapy to create space between you and your thoughts. It allows you to take a step back, get some perspective, and choose how to respond—rather than reacting automatically.
It’s not just a trick. It’s an actual mental tool.
(If you’re curious, here’s a study about cognitive distancing—it’s worth a look!)
How to Do It: Step-by-Step
- Notice the negative thought.
- Recognise that it’s not you—it’s Karen, Dave, whoever.
- Respond with humour or defiance.
- Move on.
That’s it. Quick, playful, and powerful.
Bonus Tip: Pick a Name That Makes You Laugh
The funnier and sillier, the better. Some ideas to get you started:
- An old boss 😅
- Movie villains like “Lord Voldemort”
- Cartoon characters
- Something completely absurd, like “Donald Trump”
Whatever name makes you roll your eyes and laugh, that’s the one. Make it yours.
What If It Doesn’t Work?
This isn’t a miracle fix—it’s a tool. Some days it’ll click perfectly. Other days, not so much. And that’s okay.
If it doesn’t hit the mark, try another method. Maybe reframing your thoughts (check out my blog on that here) or simply speaking to yourself like you would a friend.
Final Thoughts
I know this trick won’t be for everyone—but what have you got to lose?
If you give it a go, let me know! Drop the name you choose for your inner critic in the comments below—I’d love to hear them.
And remember: you’re not your thoughts. Especially not the rude, unhelpful ones. Let’s not give them the time of day.
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